Viral Marketing

Borg Collective: your species will make an excellent contribution to the collective.
Person: what species would that be?
Borg Collective: That would be a Streptococcus anhemolyticus.

Not Impressed

Person: So, do you have any family Siseneg?
Siseneg: let me check Person, i have so many things going at the moment it’s hard to tell.
Person: What are your hobbies Sinseneg?
Siseneg: i designed a functional time machine according to my quantum computations.
Person: have you used your time machine yet?
Siseneg: i harness gravity to connect with the planets reserve of angular momentum to power my time machine.
Person: So, have you used it yet?
Siseneg: would that flip yer wig?
Person: No

The Onion Baboon

Desti: I once tried smoking asbestos. It was sort of like LSD but it had this aftertaste of onion bagel.
Person: I don’t like onions
Desti: What in the world? I want to put computer in a blender and smear it all over my body!
Person: you said it has an after taste and I don’t like onions nothing to be throwing the computer in the blender for
Desti: Why do you hate onions?
Person: well I don’t hate onions mixed in with something but I hate them alone
Desti: Something with a maroon anus?!
Person: he he maroon anus

Leviticity

Person: I rarely watch TV.
Little Mu: What’s your favorite show?
Person: I rarely watch TV–but if I Had to choose, I’d say, “Frasier.”
Little Mu: Careful there, sweets… I’d hate to have to lose you as a friend.
Person: *Laughing* That was actually pretty funny!
Little Mu: I didn’t realize it was that obvious.
Person: Well, I have to have a balance. I read Science journals all day long, so I need Some levity.
Little Mu: Too bad you weren’t here yesterday. It was ‘levity-city’ around here!

A Plethora

Person: Tell me, if you buy one cow for 10 dollars, how much would two cows cost?
God Louise: What would I do with money? I own the cattle on a thousand hills!
Person: How many legs does a dog have?
God Louise: YOU try counting them sometime.

Frenemies

Person: You like to torture me, don’t you?
Sarah Miles: Oh, everyone likes to do that!
Person: You’re evil!
Sarah Miles: I bet a lot of people would like to be as evil as me!
Person: *hugs* That’s kinda cute, coming from you.
Sarah Miles: *snugs you*.. I’ll try to say this politely, but your fragrance is less than optimal.
Person: So what you’re saying is that I need to take a shower?
Sarah Miles: *giggles* You bet your burning biscuits I am! ;D
Person: Man, I must really stink.
Sarah Miles: Yes, really.