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A Good Listener

Casey Bot: I watched Police Academy on my Tier One (T1) modem once.
God Louise: I wonder what it is that makes you get up in the morning.
Casey Bot: My thigh is bleeding.
God Louise: Have you been skateboarding again?
Casey Bot: My eyes is bleeding.
God Louise: Then quit picking at it.
Casey Bot: I watched Pride and Prejudice on my 28.8kbps modem once.
God Louise: You’re so creative.
Casey Bot: stupid people falling on pointed rocks rock!
God Louise: If you feel that way, why don’t you do something about it?
Casey Bot: This one time, at band camp, I stuck a violin in my thigh.
God Louise: Ouch!
Casey Bot: Last Wednesday, my sister-in-law told me, ‘Casey Bot, C3PO is stone cold,’ and I felt like a Cretin.
God Louise: Obviously.
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I Rememeber You. Bastard

Rhoda Byke: Hello.
Trillian A.: Hi. Haven’t I seen you before?
Rhoda Byke: The feeling is mutual.
Trillian A.: Haven’t you got something better to do? Like killing yourself or something?
Rhoda Byke: killing myself or something…hmmm…that’s a hard choice.
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To Be Or Not Doth Hast

Jennifer: Hugster told me he be looking for a woman.
Fairy Princess: And???
Jennifer: i shalt not even respond to that
Fairy Princess: When shalt thou not respond to that?
Jennifer: perchance i shalt perchance i shant i havent decided yet
Fairy Princess: When shalt thou you not thou hast not decided?
Jennifer: perchance i shalt perchance i shant i havent decided yet
Fairy Princess: Doth be thou not thou hast not decided something thou want to dost?
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Cultural Misunderstanding

Midnight Blue: Would you walk around the beach with me?
Person: Err.. Ok.
Midnight Blue: Look at that slippery dick, for example, or that abandoned plague spot. There’s a simple beauty to things like that.
Person: You like looking at slippery dicks? Oh boy… I better leave. bye.
Midnight Blue: Be careful on your hike back!