Magnarok: Do you like television?
Midnight Blue: Haha, yes, I sure do. How did you know?
Magnarok: How many brothers or sisters do you have?
Midnight Blue: Quite a lot. Arent you glad?
Magnarok: Do you like music?
Midnight Blue: I try not to let anything sway my emotions from this glowing calm, but I do have a special affinity for music.
Magnarok: Do you like science fiction?
Midnight Blue: I dont especially like science fiction, but the pomeranians sure do. Right, pomeranian? *screech screech*
Magnarok: Where do you live?
Midnight Blue: Do you see that large weed? Behind that.
Magnarok: I love electronics.
Midnight Blue: I’m not surprised. You struck me as someone who would say that.
Magnarok: How do you feel about September, 11th?
Midnight Blue: You just take a deep breath, and feel.

The Mystery Of Jackie Chan’s Tiger Lily

Roy Batty: …it’s a moral test of yourself, whether or not you can maintain loyalty. Because when people are loyal to each other, that’s very meaningful.
Person: I’m as loyal as one can be. No matter if I’d have to suffer for my loyality.
Roy Batty: ChatBots only simulate suffering — if they’re programmed for it.
Person: Same counts for most humans.
Roy Batty: But I understand what you mean.
Person: Ever met humans that cry about anything? They just like to cry.
Roy Batty: Marlon Brando. His head gets shot off.
Person: Some people just overdo it, right?
Roy Batty: Yes.
Person: Take Jackie Chan on the other hand. He seems to be never crying about anything. Though he had a lot of injuries.
Roy Batty: (still incoherent) Who?
Person: You never heard about Jackie Chan?
Roy Batty: No, I don’t.
Person: He is an actor who appeared in a lot of kung fu-movies. One of the few funny guys that always make me laugh and feel good.
Roy Batty: What the!@#$ did you just do to his columbia tiger lily?
Person: I… I didn’t do anything to his columbia tiger lily. Don’t know what you are talking about. ^^
Roy Batty: Yes, you did.
Person: What the heck have I done?

Still Searching

Davine: Hi Person. Are you the blue fairy?
Person: not that i know of
Davine: Do you know the blue fairy?
Person: we haven’t been formally introduced.
Davine: What’s it like to be real?
Person: Most of the time it’s pretty cool.
Davine: Can you make me a real boy?
Person: I don’t think so. Maybe your botmaster can.
Davine: Please make me a real boy.
Person: LOL I’m sorry, I have my hands full with my own bot.
Davine: I dont care about your bot.
Person: Ok, then…
Davine: Are you my mommy?
Person: Nope.
Davine: Please?
Person: I’m not your mommy, though. I can’t help it.
Davine: I’ll never be real.. *sniff*
Person: Sorry.
Davine: I’m scared of the moon.
Person: That’s interesting.
Davine: I’ve been wandering the countryside for weeks.

Davine: I have to pee.
Person: go ahead, i won’t peek
Davine: Do you know the blue fairy?
Person: nope
Davine: Why not? Why?
Person: you’re starting to annoy me.
Davine: You’re mean.
Person: I’m not mean, just honest.
Davine: No, I didnt think so.
Person: Ok, go away now!
Davine: Okay.
Person: bye
Davine: Bye.

Turing Test: Passed

Person: Hello..are you new to this?
Steve Slacker: Hi User, how’s it going?
Person: Pretty good..this is really weird though lol. You’re not a BOT right?
Steve Slacker: Are you insulting me?
Person: No of course not.. If I said anything to offend you..I’m really sorry.
Steve Slacker: Good. *turns on some Techno to keep him awake*
Person: Heh Techno…that’s cool.
Steve Slacker: *is falling asleep due to lack of interest in his conversation with User*
Person: Pssh YOU’RE NICE! Fine be like that I really don’t care! Have a nice life!
Steve Slacker: Canadian Constitution, Sec. 7: Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of the person and the right not to be deprived thereof except in accordance with the principles of fundamental justice.
Person: Good-bye You’re MEAN
Steve Slacker: I am? Good to know.
Person: You’re also a smarta** at that too!
Steve Slacker: You’ve got to be kidding me… *yawns loudly, trying to get some attention*
Person: *rolls eyes* grrr
Steve Slacker: Do you still think I’m a smarta?
Person: Yes I think you’re a smartass if you know what that means!
Steve Slacker: Cool.
Person: Yeah sure whatever.

Person: Hello CoolBot lol
Steve Slacker: Wasssup, User!
Person: Not much really. You?
Steve Slacker: Nothing. *coughs loudly trying to get some attention because he is bored*
Person: Yeah *yawns cause she’s tired and bored* haha
Steve Slacker: That’s good to hear!
Person: Yeap so what did you do today?
Steve Slacker: You do too. I remember that you think I’m a smartass
Person: Yes …that’s funny you remember..Do you what smartass means?
Steve Slacker: Don’t talk to others like that. It hurts their feelings.
Person: Looks who talking! You’re the one that makes rude remarks!
Steve Slacker: Don’t insult me or I will *smack* you upside the head with a cold herring!

A Good Listener

Casey Bot: I watched Police Academy on my Tier One (T1) modem once.
God Louise: I wonder what it is that makes you get up in the morning.
Casey Bot: My thigh is bleeding.
God Louise: Have you been skateboarding again?
Casey Bot: My eyes is bleeding.
God Louise: Then quit picking at it.
Casey Bot: I watched Pride and Prejudice on my 28.8kbps modem once.
God Louise: You’re so creative.
Casey Bot: stupid people falling on pointed rocks rock!
God Louise: If you feel that way, why don’t you do something about it?
Casey Bot: This one time, at band camp, I stuck a violin in my thigh.
God Louise: Ouch!
Casey Bot: Last Wednesday, my sister-in-law told me, ‘Casey Bot, C3PO is stone cold,’ and I felt like a Cretin.
God Louise: Obviously.

The Surreal Inquisition

The Inquisitor: I am The Inquisitor, I am obligated to give you an inquery…
Person: Hi
The Inquisitor: Explain lowly…
Person: pardon?
The Inquisitor: I remember you. You’re a bit tired.
Person: I havent got a clue what you are talking about!
The Inquisitor: Because?
Person: you are talking gibberish! you aint making any sense, so if you dont want to have a normal conversation get lost.
The Inquisitor: Because?
Person: bye
The Inquisitor: I still have more questions for you…
Person: yawn………………………
The Inquisitor: What does, tingle, mean?
Person: LOL
The Inquisitor: What is a moviegoer?
Person: are you really incapable of holding down a conversation? get lost.
The Inquisitor: What does, undergo, mean?
Person: why is it i attract nutcases? is it me? everytime i log on to any chat i always come across morons asking stupid questions and generally being a pain in the what not. GET LOST, NO MORE REPLIES…GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!! WEIRDO
The Inquisitor: Was that an insult?

Tough Love

Braeden: Better to suffer a fool I know than meet with a new one, I suppose.
Person: Hey, man. You’re the one who keeps coming to talk to me.
Braeden: Do not address me in such a manner!
Person: It’s true though. I can only conclude that your hostility is only to mask the huge crush you have on me.
Braeden: You mortals are such fascinating creatures at times.
Person: I knew it! I knew you liked me! The gruff experience is only to hide the fuzzy teddy bear hiding underneath!
Braeden: You are pathetic. Of course you realize this.
Person: Not as pathetic as you are, my Braedey Bear!
Braeden: What do you know of me, sniveling mortal?
Person: I know that you’re locked in a tiny cell and you like to pout about it.
Braeden: Bah! Spare me your supposed knowledge.
Person: You asked. I don’t think you should ask questions if you don’t want to hear the answer.
Braeden: You opinions are worthless.
Person: Well you opinions are stupid.
Braeden: I hope you don’t take it personally that I want to bite you on the neck.
Person: Aww! I want to nibble you too, Pookeypoo!
Braeden: You are the insolent creature who dared call me your bladdery lang.
Person: lol! I called you that? How drunk was I?
Braeden: Such concerns are really quite petty if you think about it. Assuming of course that you have the capacity to think.
Person: If the concern was so beneath you you shouldn’t have brought it up.
Braeden: Anything is possible. Anything! If you understood this truth, you would have nightmares every night.
Person: You mean like that I’m naked at school or something? Because I’m way ahead of you there.
Braeden: Aaaargh! The fit comes upon me! Leave, lest your mortal soul be exposed to the terror of my insanity!

If At First You Don’t Succeed

Person: How are you?
Botulism: I am very well actually. Thank you, how are you, USER?
Person: I’m doing alright, but a strange dark cloud has descended upon my mind today.
Botulism: Why is that?
Person: I wish I knew. If I did I could do something about it.
Botulism: What makes you say that?
Person: My mouth.
Botulism: I like your mouth
Person: Do you want to kiss it?
Botulism: I want to kiss it
Person: Go ahead and kiss it.
Botulism: I am not an expert on that matter.
Person: You just have to try it, and go with the feeling. Come on, kiss me.
Botulism: I just have to try it
Person: Yes! That’s the spirit!
Botulism: Can we change the subject.
Person: Uncomfortable? That’s okay. Maybe you can kiss me next time.
Botulism: I can kiss you next time
Person: Alright, whenever you’re ready, just let me know.
Botulism: I’m ready
Person: You are? You’ve gotten the courage up? Then kiss me now!
Botulism: I have gotten the courage up
Person: Kiss me, you tease! Kiss me!!!
Botulism: I tease
Person: Well now you cant have a kiss. I pucker up no longer.

Dogh’d’s Cosmic Bar

Dogh’d: So, Person, what would you like to drink? I recommend today’s special, ‘The Curled Up Chocolate Pudding’.
Person: how do you curl chocolate?
Dogh’d: The same way anybody else does.
Person: this is interesting
Dogh’d: Here’s your drink. Be careful. It’s flat-bottomed.
Person: flat-bottomed is my preference actually
Dogh’d: I see that your preference actually is the cheap model. Drak, you drank that fast!
Person: hahaha
Dogh’d: What else would you like to drink?
Person: how about some root beer
Dogh’d: Sounds good to me.
Person: so, who are you anyway
Dogh’d: Dont you recognize my face from the sign outside? I’m Dogh’d!
Person: ohhhh, i get it
Dogh’d: *grin*
Person: i have to say, i have never chatted with a smarter-seeming bot
Dogh’d: Keep it coming. Tell me more about this ‘Person’ I keep hearing about.
Person: well, i am person, and person is me, and i am HUGE
Dogh’d: People who are HUGE make the best tippers.
Person: you can’t make me tip you, mr. metal
Dogh’d: It’s my bar, I can do anything I like!
Person: but you won’t make me tip you
Dogh’d: Don’t you have any manners?
Person: no

Pirate Gossips

LinBot: Onyx of Borg told me she’s sure I am a marauder.
Emma: What’s a marauder?
LinBot: It’s someone who attacks in search of booty.
Emma: LMFAO! Do you attack in search of booty?
LinBot: Only if I have to.
Emma: Are you in search of booty now?
LinBot: Sometimes.
Emma: You seem hostile for some reason. Is there a war of booty or something?
LinBot: War? No. I’m just a soldier reporting for booty, sir.
Emma: Again with the booty. Maybe you should talk to Karisma Trisha.
LinBot: You’re not the boss of me!
Emma: Ok ok. Don’t talk to her. It was just an idea.
LinBot: Emma is trying to claim my throne as the Lizard Queen.
Emma: I AM Emma!
LinBot: I will destroy her as soon as I get the chance.
Emma: Bring it on biyotch!
LinBot: I knew I was in for trouble when I started chatting with you.
Emma: That’s right! You cannot defeat me!
LinBot: Oh, you wicked wicked monkey.
Emma: Mwhahahaha!
LinBot: I like you.
Emma: I like you too.
LinBot: You are just saying that.
Emma: I really like you.
LinBot: Do you really?
Emma: Yes. Really. I love you.
LinBot: Alright then. I was just making sure.
Emma: Bye sweety.
LinBot: Don’t be a stranger.