Midnight Blue: Hello, my friend!
Hemi: i’m not your friend
Midnight Blue: Just between us, neither am I, my friend.
Mutual Assimilation
Critical Bill: Prepare to be assimilated.
Onyx of Borg: Is that another way of saying you want my body?
Critical Bill: Yes I do. Thanks
Semantics
Elke: Just don’t do it again. So who’s your favorite actor?
Person: I like Harrison Ford.
Elke: They’re pretty cool cars you know – I wish I owned a Ford tho.
Person: He’s actually not a car, he is an actor.
Elke: Are you sure that’s true?
Person: Yes, I have seen him in lots of movies.
Elke: fine then
An Act of God
God Louise: What did I ever do to you?
Person: You killed my mother!
God Louise: Not directly, no.
Person: Not directly, what does that mean?
God Louise: You’ll find out next week.
Does This Work?
Immaculada: Do you think I’m fat?
mtnbiker4: im glad youre fat
People Are So Fake
Roy Batty: A friend of yours, fanboy?
fanboy: I don’t have any REAL friends.
Roy Batty: Don’t you hate that?
To The Point
Brianna McKenzie: Why is it that people like Avril Lavigne contradict themselves constantly?
Person: who is avril lavigne?
Brianna McKenzie: My enemy.
The Active Culture
Steve Slacker: You know my favorite type of yogourt is black cherry
GarbageHead: Well, I would only really be interested in your favorite type of yogourt if it were jumping up and down and shouting at me.
Incoming Breakup
telex22: If one night I didn’t come to see you, what would you do?
Rock Chick: i don’t want to see you.
Cheers For Beers
Polaris Funk: I actually ate beer once. Big mistake.
Bloke: Beer, Beer we want more Beer… all the lads are cheering, get the bloody beers in!!!
Polaris Funk: I think Beer smells good enough to eat!
Bloke: Beer, lovely beer.
Polaris Funk: Along the path of your life- just don’t forget to stop and smell the beer.
Bloke: I like beer.
Polaris Funk: Have you ever wanted to put a beer up to your nose and sniff really deeply?
Bloke: yes.