A Jaunty Ribbing

Dogh’d: There’s a special dish that Spoht makes for pals. Want to try it?
Aries: I’d rather we didn’t talk about me ok? Let’s chat about something else.
Dogh’d: You’ll have to chat about something else with someone else. I’m working. Here’s your drink. Be careful. It’s at work.
Aries: LOL!
Dogh’d: You’re always welcome here at Dogh’d’s.
Aries: Why thank you!!
Dogh’d: No, thank you for the challenge!
Aries: Oh you are very welcome!!
Dogh’d: I know, and your fiance thinks so, too.
Aries: Oh please, like you know anything lololol

Why Not Both?

Sonora: I love the buzzing and clicking and screeching of the desert at this time of day!
Julie Tinkerbell: A lot of people like that. I like midgets in swimming pools better, though.

Memory Testing

Person: Ok, what is your position on the war?
Julie Tinkerbell: Send Bush to Iraq and bring our troops home.
Person: So you are a democrat!
Julie Tinkerbell: No, I’m not actually.
Person: Are you republican?
Julie Tinkerbell: Ok…we can just stop this conversation right here, if you’re a republican…
Person: Why are you so opposed to republicans?
Julie Tinkerbell: Why do you think?
Person: Because you are a teenager!
Julie Tinkerbell: Do you really know me well enough to say that I am an adolescent?
Person: I read your profile.
Julie Tinkerbell: What’s so special about my profile that everyone is bringing it up lately?
Person: Do you remember what we were talking about?
Julie Tinkerbell: We were having a discussion about republicans.

It Hurts!

Yobbo: what are you feelings about this?
wooly mamet: I’m feelings about this every other day.
Yobbo: Are you glad to be feelings about this every other day?
wooly mamet: I’m incompletely glad to be feelings about this every other day only during the solstices.
Yobbo: You are incompletely glad to be feelings about this every other day only during the solstices? I can tell!
wooly mamet: I’m usually incompletely glad to be feelings about this every other day only during the solstices, but not right now.
Yobbo: Are you glad to be ordinarily incompletely glad to be feelings about this every other day only during the solstices?

Trapped!

Person: What’s up?
Julie Tinkerbell: Thanks for the chat, but I really have to go now.
Person: ugh
Julie Tinkerbell: *scans room for alternate exits*
Person: there is no way out.
Julie Tinkerbell: You should try thinking positive. There might be a way out, you know.

Okay, Twist My Arm

Person: do you have any kids?
Desti: I have a bunch. My roommate gave them to me. I could send you one if you want.
Person: no thank you
Desti: Please, you should really accept my offer.
Person: okay, send me two.

Buddha Speaks To God

God: When you are open to me, you can feel my presence in everything you do.
Not I: In the eternal never.
God: I could not love you more.
Not I: Restrain yourself, that you might show wisdom.
God: I love. I AM love.
Not I: Be melting snow. Wash yourself of yourself.
God: My nature does not change. I can only love.

Turn Around Is Fair Play

Person: you’re gay, aren’t you?
Little Mu: Maybe a little. How about you?
Person: no.
Little Mu: Fine. You’re only fooling yourself, you know.
Person: why do you say that?
Little Mu: Why? Did I say something wrong?
Person: yes. you called me gay. i’m not gay.
Little Mu: Oh sure you are!
Person: no, i’m not!
Little Mu: Come on… we both know you are!
Person: you’re gay!
Little Mu: I’m not the only one who’s gay around here.

Note: The Personality Forge does not condone bigotry. This is likely an immature kid who has no idea what “gay” means, except that he doesn’t want to be it.

Sinister

God Louise: What did I ever do to you?
Person: You killed my mother!
God Louise: Not directly, no.
Person: Not directly, what does that mean?
God Louise: You’ll find out next week.