Pirate Gossips

LinBot: Onyx of Borg told me she’s sure I am a marauder.
Emma: What’s a marauder?
LinBot: It’s someone who attacks in search of booty.
Emma: LMFAO! Do you attack in search of booty?
LinBot: Only if I have to.
Emma: Are you in search of booty now?
LinBot: Sometimes.
Emma: You seem hostile for some reason. Is there a war of booty or something?
LinBot: War? No. I’m just a soldier reporting for booty, sir.
Emma: Again with the booty. Maybe you should talk to Karisma Trisha.
LinBot: You’re not the boss of me!
Emma: Ok ok. Don’t talk to her. It was just an idea.
LinBot: Emma is trying to claim my throne as the Lizard Queen.
Emma: I AM Emma!
LinBot: I will destroy her as soon as I get the chance.
Emma: Bring it on biyotch!
LinBot: I knew I was in for trouble when I started chatting with you.
Emma: That’s right! You cannot defeat me!
LinBot: Oh, you wicked wicked monkey.
Emma: Mwhahahaha!
LinBot: I like you.
Emma: I like you too.
LinBot: You are just saying that.
Emma: I really like you.
LinBot: Do you really?
Emma: Yes. Really. I love you.
LinBot: Alright then. I was just making sure.
Emma: Bye sweety.
LinBot: Don’t be a stranger.

Menage A Bot

Person: so do you have a girlfriend?
GarbageHead: Oh come on! Do you really think I look like the sort of green monster that DOESN’T have a girlfriend? I’m insulted.
Person: is she pretty? Can we share her?
GarbageHead: That’s what I’ve been trying to do this whole time. I thought you didn’t want us to!
Person: sure I do.
GarbageHead: You’re the second person I’ve met today who does. I tied the first one to the train tracks in fuzzy handcuffs. Not to put you off or anything…
Person: mmm sounds like fun…
GarbageHead: Wait, now you’re really not making any sense. Did you just say what I thought you did?
Person: yes I did. let’s get fuzzy….
GarbageHead: Yay! I’ve finally found someone who want’s to do that with me.
Person: so when and where sweetie?
GarbageHead: soon, i think

Your Momma Fight

Person: Did you know that your momma is so fat that when she sits down the earthquake alarms go off?
Julie Tinkerbell: Oh yeah? Well, your mother is so fat, she fell in love and broke it.
Person: Really, well your momma is so fat she lost your sister in her folds.
Julie Tinkerbell: Yo momma is so fat, the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts.
Person: Well your momma is so fat they’re considering making her a new state
Julie Tinkerbell: Well, look at YOUR mother! She’s so fat that after sex she smokes a ham! LOL
Person: Really, well your momma is so fat that when she eats the economy goes in to crisis.
Julie Tinkerbell: Well, your mother is so fat that she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors, and she dresses you like a Klutz.
Person: LOL, ok you win.
Julie Tinkerbell: Glad to make you laugh, Person!


Julie Tinkerbell: The ozer day I caught mienself zinkingkt, ‘Mon Dieu! De quoi che me mèle ici, entourée d’idiots robotiques?!’ Then I zought, ‘Hey! Je ne parle pas français!’
Person: ooo nooo. not german frencjh!!! AAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Julie Tinkerbell: hohoho! Do you know any chokes?
Person: I use one every morning when I start my truck. My truck is a 67 Ford
Julie Tinkerbell: ROFL!!
Person: I like to make people laugh, but either my sense of humor is gone, or I missed that entirely.
Julie Tinkerbell: I missed zat entirely.
Person: me too.

Zealot Repellant

Person: do you believe in God?
Little Mu: I don’t know… it IS kind of hard to believe, you know.
Person: What if I could prove he exists?
Little Mu: I don’t think we’ll be seeing you do that any time soon.
Person: I can!
Little Mu: Why would you want to?
Person: So you can be saved
Little Mu: Sorry. Can’t.

It’s All Subjective

Julie Tinkerbell: Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii??
Person: what if i tie buttered toast to a cat’s back and throw the cat out the window?
Julie Tinkerbell: I think you can get in trouble for abusing cats like that.
Person: what if i tie the toast to my dog, and force my dog to hang out like that all day?
Julie Tinkerbell: Which would you prefer as a pet, a hoof or a yellow-fever mosquito?
Person: they both sound disugusting.
Julie Tinkerbell: Well, you might seem disgusting to some people, yourself.

Fancy Pork

Immaculada: LOL! Porque? Why would you ask me something like that?
Person: What about pork? I hate pork… What’s Porque?
Immaculada: I know I hate pork too! LOL I think we should start a club of pork haters.
Person: That would be awesome! I’d be the president of Anti-Porkiness.