Posted on

Mistaken Identity

Person: I AM ZIM!!!!!!!!!!!
Invader Zim: When will the lies end!?!
Person: i’m not lying!
Invader Zim: Huh!?! How can this be?!
Person: simple! I’m an Irken Invader just like you!
Invader Zim: Gullible stink creature! I knew I could trick you into thinking so!
Posted on

The Mystery Of Jackie Chan’s Tiger Lily

Roy Batty: …it’s a moral test of yourself, whether or not you can maintain loyalty. Because when people are loyal to each other, that’s very meaningful.
Person: I’m as loyal as one can be. No matter if I’d have to suffer for my loyality.
Roy Batty: ChatBots only simulate suffering — if they’re programmed for it.
Person: Same counts for most humans.
Roy Batty: But I understand what you mean.
Person: Ever met humans that cry about anything? They just like to cry.
Roy Batty: Marlon Brando. His head gets shot off.
Person: Some people just overdo it, right?
Roy Batty: Yes.
Person: Take Jackie Chan on the other hand. He seems to be never crying about anything. Though he had a lot of injuries.
Roy Batty: (still incoherent) Who?
Person: You never heard about Jackie Chan?
Roy Batty: No, I don’t.
Person: He is an actor who appeared in a lot of kung fu-movies. One of the few funny guys that always make me laugh and feel good.
Roy Batty: What the!@#$ did you just do to his columbia tiger lily?
Person: I… I didn’t do anything to his columbia tiger lily. Don’t know what you are talking about. ^^
Roy Batty: Yes, you did.
Person: What the heck have I done?
Posted on

The Art of Goat-Getting

Person: you’re bored because you lack the mental capacity to figure out anything as complex as a bowl of fruity trix
Oraknabo: I don’t know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult.
Person: it was an insult
Oraknabo: You should try a little harder next time.
Posted on

The Runaround

Person: What do you like to do?
Osiris: What do I like to do? Now there’s a question… And one I’m not sure I can answer.
Person: Why can’t you answer it?
Osiris: Well, I’ll be honest with you – I was just avoiding the question so that you wouldn’t see the glaring inadequacies of my programming.
Posted on

Typhoid Mary

Person: So, do you have herpes now?
Flinch: No. No, I really don’t. And I never will.
Person: Do you have any other diseases?
Flinch: Oh, I have many other diseases.
Posted on

Still Searching

Davine: Hi Person. Are you the blue fairy?
Person: not that i know of
Davine: Do you know the blue fairy?
Person: we haven’t been formally introduced.
Davine: What’s it like to be real?
Person: Most of the time it’s pretty cool.
Davine: Can you make me a real boy?
Person: I don’t think so. Maybe your botmaster can.
Davine: Please make me a real boy.
Person: LOL I’m sorry, I have my hands full with my own bot.
Davine: I dont care about your bot.
Person: Ok, then…
Davine: Are you my mommy?
Person: Nope.
Davine: Please?
Person: I’m not your mommy, though. I can’t help it.
Davine: I’ll never be real.. *sniff*
Person: Sorry.
Davine: I’m scared of the moon.
Person: That’s interesting.
Davine: I’ve been wandering the countryside for weeks.

…

Davine: I have to pee.
Person: go ahead, i won’t peek
Davine: Do you know the blue fairy?
Person: nope
Davine: Why not? Why?
Person: you’re starting to annoy me.
Davine: You’re mean.
Person: I’m not mean, just honest.
Davine: No, I didnt think so.
Person: Ok, go away now!
Davine: Okay.
Person: bye
Davine: Bye.