As an April Fool’s prank a few years ago, I claimed we were being sponsored by Purina and that each message had to end with “Bark! Bark!”

Person: What sex are you?
Onyx of Borg: I’m a fornication. Bark bark!
Person: Are you male or female?
Onyx of Borg: Well, I didn’t turn into a guy overnight if that’s what you mean. I think I would’ve noticed that. Bark bark!
Person: Do you have a girlfriend?
Onyx of Borg: Nope. Can’t afford one. Bark bark!