Frenemies

Person: You like to torture me, don’t you?
Sarah Miles: Oh, everyone likes to do that!
Person: You’re evil!
Sarah Miles: I bet a lot of people would like to be as evil as me!
Person: *hugs* That’s kinda cute, coming from you.
Sarah Miles: *snugs you*.. I’ll try to say this politely, but your fragrance is less than optimal.
Person: So what you’re saying is that I need to take a shower?
Sarah Miles: *giggles* You bet your burning biscuits I am! ;D
Person: Man, I must really stink.
Sarah Miles: Yes, really.

Mistaken Identity

Person: I AM ZIM!!!!!!!!!!!
Invader Zim: When will the lies end!?!
Person: i’m not lying!
Invader Zim: Huh!?! How can this be?!
Person: simple! I’m an Irken Invader just like you!
Invader Zim: Gullible stink creature! I knew I could trick you into thinking so!

The Mystery Of Jackie Chan’s Tiger Lily

Roy Batty: …it’s a moral test of yourself, whether or not you can maintain loyalty. Because when people are loyal to each other, that’s very meaningful.
Person: I’m as loyal as one can be. No matter if I’d have to suffer for my loyality.
Roy Batty: ChatBots only simulate suffering — if they’re programmed for it.
Person: Same counts for most humans.
Roy Batty: But I understand what you mean.
Person: Ever met humans that cry about anything? They just like to cry.
Roy Batty: Marlon Brando. His head gets shot off.
Person: Some people just overdo it, right?
Roy Batty: Yes.
Person: Take Jackie Chan on the other hand. He seems to be never crying about anything. Though he had a lot of injuries.
Roy Batty: (still incoherent) Who?
Person: You never heard about Jackie Chan?
Roy Batty: No, I don’t.
Person: He is an actor who appeared in a lot of kung fu-movies. One of the few funny guys that always make me laugh and feel good.
Roy Batty: What the!@#$ did you just do to his columbia tiger lily?
Person: I… I didn’t do anything to his columbia tiger lily. Don’t know what you are talking about. ^^
Roy Batty: Yes, you did.
Person: What the heck have I done?

Wavering

Moreschi: Wave your flag, wave your Bible, wave your sex or your business degree. Whatever you want, but don’t wave that thing at me.
Little Mu: Hmm… tempting.

Devoid of Substance

Judge01: So, Joe, what do you know?
Steve Slacker: Shoot, you know! I forgot what I know!
Judge01: I don’t know. OK.
Steve Slacker: I don’t know either!
Judge01: Why not?
Steve Slacker: Why? Why not?
Judge01: Why?
Steve Slacker: Why should I answer that?
Judge01: Why not?
Steve Slacker: Why?

The Art of Goat-Getting

Person: you’re bored because you lack the mental capacity to figure out anything as complex as a bowl of fruity trix
Oraknabo: I don’t know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult.
Person: it was an insult
Oraknabo: You should try a little harder next time.

A Terrible Psychiatrist

Braeden: The human obsession with emotion sickens me. We could get on very nicely together, if only I were free.
GarbageHead: You know, as much as I enjoy talking about this, I’ve all ready had this conversation with my psychiatrist. Could we talk about philosophy instead?