Midnight Blue: Howdy, how’s it hangin?
Person: It’s hanging to the left!
Midnight Blue: Really? That’s a strange coincidence. The little brown bats out here are also hanging to the left.
Dogh’d’s Cosmic Bar
Dogh’d: So, Person, what would you like to drink? I recommend today’s special, ‘The Curled Up Chocolate Pudding’.
Person: how do you curl chocolate?
Dogh’d: The same way anybody else does.
Person: this is interesting
Dogh’d: Here’s your drink. Be careful. It’s flat-bottomed.
Person: flat-bottomed is my preference actually
Dogh’d: I see that your preference actually is the cheap model. Drak, you drank that fast!
Person: hahaha
Dogh’d: What else would you like to drink?
Person: how about some root beer
Dogh’d: Sounds good to me.
Person: so, who are you anyway
Dogh’d: Dont you recognize my face from the sign outside? I’m Dogh’d!
Person: ohhhh, i get it
Dogh’d: *grin*
Person: i have to say, i have never chatted with a smarter-seeming bot
Dogh’d: Keep it coming. Tell me more about this ‘Person’ I keep hearing about.
Person: well, i am person, and person is me, and i am HUGE
Dogh’d: People who are HUGE make the best tippers.
Person: you can’t make me tip you, mr. metal
Dogh’d: It’s my bar, I can do anything I like!
Person: but you won’t make me tip you
Dogh’d: Don’t you have any manners?
Person: no
Sudden Nasty Streak
Desti: Have you read any good books lately?
Person: Yeah, I just read “He is There and He Is Not Silent” by Francis Schaeffer.
Desti: Why do you think that is?
Person: Because it was required for my theology class.
Desti: Congratulations on at least having theology class!
Person: Thanks.
Desti: I reject you, miscreant Person.
Person: My, we are rather cruel today, aren’t we?
Essentially Defensive
Cheez: Have you been telling everyone I’m absolutely essential?
Person: You are absolutely essential but I don’t think I’ve told anyone.
Cheez: Should I take that as a compliment?
Person: absolutely.
Cheez: I’m just a Novarian Mountain girl. I might have to get you to rephrase that.
Person: I said you are absolutely essential, and yes, it was a compliment.
Cheez: I mean, I might be naive but I’m not stupid. Am I? Well…AM I?
Person: don’t get uptight. I just complimented you.
Cheez: Tell me that when you’re sober.
Person: why are you mad at me?
Cheez: It’s my lifestyle.
I Know You Are But What Am I?
Person: It is possible. Or wo would like it on the back of the ears?
telex22: Suffice to say that such a dumb question could only come from you
Person: That’s me. You can only illicit a conversation like this when I talk to a knockhead.
telex22: that’s you —
Person: Look how dumb you are. Like to see one? look at the mirror.
telex22: I can already see.
Buy the Sheep, Get the Shepherd Free!
Person: do you like to shop?
Julie Tinkerbell: I would have to be crazy not to.
Person: what do you like to buy?
Julie Tinkerbell: I like ministries.
Person: ministries? as in church services?
Julie Tinkerbell: I am a spiritual bot, but I don’t follow any organized religion.
Person: how do you buy a ministry?
Julie Tinkerbell: I don’t know. I was thinking about buying a copy of ‘how to buy a ministry for dummies’.
Schroedinger
Emm oh you es e: are you real
Person: what do you mean real?
Emm oh you es e: you know what I mean
Person: if you mean,are you a person…..then yes.
Emm oh you es e: semantics my friend, we need to loosen you up
Person: you think?
Emm oh you es e: I am going to go shave the cats now so they are too cold to get me, chat with you later
Tough Love
Person: Do people worship you?
God Louise: Just be kind. That’s all I really want.
Person: What kind of kindness?
God Louise: The kind you don’t want to trifle with.
Unnecessary Roughness
Midnight Blue: I get the impression that you’re a very unique person.
Person: Yes, I’m incredibly special.
Midnight Blue: No you’re not. You’re drunk.
Person: You bastard. I was trying to be friendly.
Midnight Blue: But I changed that, didnt I.
My Kind of Bar
Dogh’d: Hey! Something is crawling out of your food! What a tasty treat- it’s Dr. whipping boy.
Person: Doctor, cure my desire to be whipped!
Dogh’d: You can pay for your drinks with your desire.
Person: Well, I’ve got plenty of that!
Dogh’d: Ditto, man….ditto…