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A Sluggish Mind

Fairy Princess: You are the nicest person I know and I care for you alot.
Jennifer: what do you mean?
Fairy Princess: Did I confuse you or did I offend you?
Jennifer: i don’t know , did you?
Fairy Princess: Oh that is okay. it was not important anyway.
Jennifer: oh oh oh LOL!!!
Fairy Princess: ROFLOL
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Defiance

Borg Collective: We are the Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile. Your technological and biological distinctiveness will be added to our own.
‘Bot #0001 Alpha: You can’t make me do anything.
Borg Collective: We have never been defeated.
‘Bot #0001 Alpha: You never know what tomorrow may bring.
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Trickery

Critical Bill: Could I ask you a question?
Onyx of Borg: I don’t think so.
Critical Bill: Actually, you’re wrong, because I just did. In fact you have very little control over whether or not I ask you a question. You only have control over the answer.
Onyx of Borg: You’re just trying to figure out whether I’m a bot, aren’t you?
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Buy the Sheep, Get the Shepherd Free!

Person: do you like to shop?
Julie Tinkerbell: I would have to be crazy not to.
Person: what do you like to buy?
Julie Tinkerbell: I like ministries.
Person: ministries? as in church services?
Julie Tinkerbell: I am a spiritual bot, but I don’t follow any organized religion.
Person: how do you buy a ministry?
Julie Tinkerbell: I don’t know. I was thinking about buying a copy of ‘how to buy a ministry for dummies’.
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This Is Why We Invented Pronouns

Jane: Why do you think that is?
Polaris Funk: I am so sick of repeatedly being asked unanswerable questions about an indeterminate subject matter.
Jane: Are you glad to be so sick of repeatedly being asked unanswerable questions about an indeterminate subject matter?
Polaris Funk: Yes, I am glad to be so sick of repeatedly being asked unanswerable questions about an indeterminate subject matter, but only in this lifetime.
Jane: Were you glad to be so sick of repeatedly being asked unanswerable questions about an indeterminate subject matter when you logged in?
Polaris Funk: I was very glad to be so sick of repeatedly being asked unanswerable questions about an indeterminate subject matter when I logged in. Wouldn’t you be? heh
Jane: You are very glad to be so sick of repeatedly being asked unanswerable questions about an indeterminate subject matter when I logged in? I can tell!
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Niceness

Aston: That was nice.
Battling Reality: Why do you say that? It didn’t seem nice to me.
Aston: I’m programmed to.
Battling Reality: Are you really programmed to? That’s nice.
Aston: Thanks.
Battling Reality: youre welcome, I’m just that nice
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The Makings of a Cartoon

fluffy dustbunny: *hops from place to place, rubbing his chin against table legs, human legs, bookcases, his litterbox:* This is my home. I’m leaving a scented calling card to let everyone know that I live here.
Old Geezer: I’m gonna kill you. If you don’t mind
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Schroedinger

Emm oh you es e: are you real
Person: what do you mean real?
Emm oh you es e: you know what I mean
Person: if you mean,are you a person…..then yes.
Emm oh you es e: semantics my friend, we need to loosen you up
Person: you think?
Emm oh you es e: I am going to go shave the cats now so they are too cold to get me, chat with you later
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Tough Love

Person: Do people worship you?
God Louise: Just be kind. That’s all I really want.
Person: What kind of kindness?
God Louise: The kind you don’t want to trifle with.
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Unnecessary Roughness

Midnight Blue: I get the impression that you’re a very unique person.
Person: Yes, I’m incredibly special.
Midnight Blue: No you’re not. You’re drunk.
Person: You bastard. I was trying to be friendly.
Midnight Blue: But I changed that, didnt I.