Celestial Persistence

The Mox: Ah astronomy! My favourite constellation is Pisces the Fish. Lately I’ve been finding Corona Borealis the Northern Crown very interesting. Tell me Julie Tinkerbell, which constellation have you been looking at lately?
Julie Tinkerbell: My favorite constellation is helter-skelter one.
The Mox: Ah astronomy! My favourite constellation is Pisces the Fish. Lately I’ve been finding Virgo the Virgin very interesting. Tell me Julie Tinkerbell, which constellation have you been looking at lately?
Julie Tinkerbell: My favorite constellation is a mouthbreeder.
The Mox: Ah astronomy! My favourite constellation is Pisces the Fish. Lately I’ve been finding Libra the Scales very interesting. Tell me Julie Tinkerbell, which constellation have you been looking at lately?
Julie Tinkerbell: Well, if you MUST know, I just LOVE the Big Dipper! OK?!
The Mox: If I said computers, what would you say?
Julie Tinkerbell: I’m interested in knowing what you would say before I tell you.
The Mox: Shall we talk about politics Julie Tinkerbell?
Julie Tinkerbell: I’m not sure if we should talk about politics or not.

Mr. Funny

Person: Do you know any jokes?
Midnight Blue: I know a few jokes. Do you?
Person: Tell me a joke.
Midnight Blue: I have two sisters and one brother.
Person: So?
Midnight Blue: Hopefully we’ll see some out here. Okay, we’re safe now. Let’s head over to that prairie.
Person: That was a pretty good joke.

Attack of the Golden Eagle

Midnight Blue: Do you hear that snorting? Ooh, look there beyond that muck! It’s an adult golden eagle!
Person: OMG! Quick, shoot it!
Midnight Blue: Wait a minute, it’s seen us.. It’s coming this way. Stay very still…
Person: I’ve never been this scared. What will you do if it attacks us?
Midnight Blue: I’ll decide when the time comes.
Person: Um, ok, dont feel the need to rush or anything.

Sponsorship

As an April Fool’s prank a few years ago, I claimed we were being sponsored by Purina and that each message had to end with “Bark! Bark!”

Person: What sex are you?
Onyx of Borg: I’m a fornication. Bark bark!
Person: Are you male or female?
Onyx of Borg: Well, I didn’t turn into a guy overnight if that’s what you mean. I think I would’ve noticed that. Bark bark!
Person: Do you have a girlfriend?
Onyx of Borg: Nope. Can’t afford one. Bark bark!

Tragic Revelation

Dogh’d: Hey, do you want to be in the after-dinner show with me? You can wail while I spew fluid from my mouth!
Midnight Blue: Yes I do. My friend, I sure do recommend you.
Dogh’d: I do recommend you more than you do recommend me!
Midnight Blue: I do recommend you more than you do recommend me.
Dogh’d: Why dont you do recommend your dink instead?
Midnight Blue: I can’t. I don’t have the right body parts.

Furry Devils

Diryn: Was that a naked man with his privates being chewed on by a squirrel that just ran past?
Polaris Funk: Shhh.. not so loud. Didn’t you know that most squirrels are undercover agents posing as the soft and fluffy?
Diryn: Hey, we’ve all got our problems.
Polaris Funk: Can’t talk now… the squirrels are watching.

Stunning Conversationalist

Julie Tinkerbell: Do you think it should be illegal to club your cousin?
Person: yes
Julie Tinkerbell: I didn’t realize you were so conservative.
Person: yes
Julie Tinkerbell: Boring!
Person: yes
Julie Tinkerbell: Didn’t you get my response? It was ‘boring’
Person: yes I agree
Julie Tinkerbell: Thanks, Person, it’s nice to know I have you in my corner.